Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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