You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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