Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
