Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
