So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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