I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
