Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
be right there i have to get my cape
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
