If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
