Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
