grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Randomize
