your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
