The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
