I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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