i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
