Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
