I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
