Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
