my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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