but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
