I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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