Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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