Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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