in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
