Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
