i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
