He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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