Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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