i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
