There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
