you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
