That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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