I wanna bring you to show and tell
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
