trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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