everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
