Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
