You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
