I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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