I must be too annoying 4 u.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
