My brain says no but my pants say off.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
