woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
