WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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