Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
