it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
