Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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