The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
