My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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