You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
