sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i barfeds in our rink
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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