its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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