chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
