mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Randomize
