Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
